Can you do something for me right now? Try taking a 10 second inhale, and then match that with a 10 second exhalation before you read on. What did you notice?
The art of breathing is lost on most people. It is a skill that is learned, not taught often enough, and can be the most important skill we utilize as we move through parenting in those moments where you feel anxious, frustrated, or sad. Most people will only use the top third of their lungs. When we consciously and actively breathe from the bottom of the lung, we activate a release of hormones and truly access our ability to cope with anything that comes our way. The mantra used: breathe in, believe in, and breathe out whatever doesn't serve you in this moment.
Why is this an important skill? When we exhibit stress, our reaction is to shorten the breath or to momentarily hold our breath. We cannot move through the stressful situations of parenting if we are not actively noticing our reaction to that emotion. When we can observe this in ourselves, we can understand what happens when our little ones do the same thing. When little ones breathe, it is though their entire body is vibrant with breath. Conscious breathing does not happen until the age of 2-3 years old. A learned behaviour to hold our breath starts so early, that unconsciously this is the established program that can be "rebooted" at any point in our lives. Learning to breathe will help ALL of you in times of stress and disconnection.
Let me share that in my own parenting journey, the mess of the playroom with toys spread across the floor like land mines and children crying and clinging to me would sometimes set my anxiety on HIGH. As a person who THRIVES in a clean, organized environment I could choose to raise my voice, or I could choose to do the complete opposite. Meditation. I would roll my yoga mat out amongst the mess and go sit with the chaos to find my own inner peace. I would just sit, observe my breath and listen to the tiny voices around me; finding grounding and purpose in those moments that could have sent me into a tailspin, but I came out of it with gratitude to have those moments with my girls.
Being a parent is tough, we all have moments where we are at the end of our patience, so I'm going to encourage you to find moments of connection with your breath when you feel challenged. Do it with your partner and everyone can regulate their nervous systems at the same time. Close your eyes and FEEL your breath. You can target this by placing your hands on your lower ribs/diaphragm, around your ribcage and upper chest or with your index and thumb touching collarbones to feel the rise and fall, widening and narrowing and count to 10. Inhale grace, serenity, peace, and calm. Exhale stress, anxiety, depression, fear, hesitation, and inhibition.
Try to find your breath during some of these particular difficult or triggering moments:
Feeding time
Cleaning up toys
Car Rides
Extended Family Visits
Crying Bouts
Video of how to breathe, coming soon!!
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