The holidays are usually a busy time of year for most people and this can leave you feeling burnt out as the New Year begins.
This Christmas holiday season was a busy one for our family. We were away from home travelling to and from family and friends houses, and by the time we got back home it felt like we needed a vacation from our holidays. If this sounds like you, know that you're not alone. A staggering third of Canadians feel burnt out by the end of the year (1). In fact, there is a whole day in January dedicated to burn out that is coined "Blue Monday", which happens to fall on January 15, 2024 this year. This day is deemed to be the most depressing day of the year. With holidays over, school beginning, work stress returning, and typical cold and gloomy weather, it's no wonder a third of Canadians are feeling the post holiday blues.
I wanted to write this for all of you parents looking to reset your nervous system and find your balance again with a new year on the books. Historically speaking, most people make a slew of resolutions that fizzle out by the end of the month or shortly after. I want to tell you that before you make any hard-fast resolutions this year, PAUSE. That's right- Pause. Take a moment and thank yourself, your body, and your mind for all that it did for you this past year. Reflect on the things that made you happy, smile, jump for joy, and felt good for your soul. Thank your body for getting you to today. Breathe. Sit here for a moment and notice how your body feels after this small act of gratitude. Likely, a little more relaxed than when you started I'd wager.
As a human being, your nervous system is so important in your everyday functions and life. Your nervous system is acts as the control center of your body- from your heartbeat, to digestion, to your emotions. As a parent, it's even more important to learn to keep yourself regulated while the wars rage on around you. When your body is constantly stressed (flight or flight mode activated), it has a decreased capacity to regulate, thus you'll have an increase in cortisol (stress hormone) and adrenalin coursing through your body. Overtime, this elevated level in cortisol and adrenalin can cause disease to form and force us to face health issues we wouldn't perhaps have if we took the time to learn to regulate our nervous system.
Finding a moment of calm despite the storm around you, will help bring calm and regulation to your nervous system but also model regulation to those around you. The biggest tools in your toolkit this year to help you find balance should include nervous system regulation tools. These can include(2):
A physiological sigh: two quick inhales followed by a long exhale. Doing this activates the parasympathetic nervous system and calms the sympathetic nervous system.
Exercise/Movement: walk, dance, just move! By moving your body, you let go of tension and stress and get a rush of feel good endorphins which allows you to feel more relaxed.
Weighted Blanket: using a weighted blanket can activate the parasympathetic nervous system from deep pressure touch. Lying under a weighted blanket, and focusing on your breath is a surefire way to calm your nervous system.
Meditation: sitting in a quiet space, get comfortable and focus on your breath. Can chant a saying if it helps keep you present. If your mind wanders, simply bring your thoughts back to your breath. This practices promotes relaxation of the nervous system and mind.
Mindfulness techniques: by practicing mindfulness, you force your body to focus on the now, thus grounding you and bringing your body out of a state of flight or fight into a calming state.
Practicing Gratitude: write down or say aloud 10 things you are grateful for. Research shows that practicing gratitude releases dopamine and serotonin (happy, feel good chemicals) which in turn produce a calming effect on our body and mind.
Singing/laughing/humming: singing, laughing or humming all work on your vagus nerve. The vagus nerve primarily represents the main parts of your parasympathetic nervous system and promotes relaxation and regulation to your nervous system.
Massage or Hug: touch and pressure of touch is a powerful relaxation tool. Give yourself a hug or head to your favourite therapist for a massage.
Tapping (EFT): tapping also known as Emotional Freedom Technique, involves tapping specific areas of your body while you repeat a specific phrase. Look on YouTube or Google for some guided EFT sessions.
Grounding: go outside and lie down on the ground or place your bare feet on the earth. Grounding has been scientifically shown to promote nervous system regulation as well as a host of other benefits such as reducing inflammation, improving sleep, and reduce pain.
Getting out in nature: getting outside and experiencing the sun on your skin, hearing the sounds around you, or grounding all bring you back to self and can promote mindfulness, which we've already discussed.
Cold Exposure: cold exposure (cold shower/cold plunging) is gaining in popularity for good reason. Not only will a blast from the cold water even for just 30 seconds jolt and reset the nervous system, it has been shown to provide a wide array of other benefits. A goal of 11 minutes per week is found to be beneficial for mood and overall health.
Co-Regulation: talking to someone you trust or that naturally feels grounding to you can help down regulate your overactive nervous system.
Sleep: quality sleep allows our bodies to rejuvenate and restore which is essential for all the hormones that work tirelessly day in and day out while you're awake and asleep to keep you functioning optimally causing regulation.
Somatic body work: empowers you to create a more mindful connection with your body in order to release trapped emotions and experience deeper healing. Finding a professional who specializes in somatic body work is the best bang for your buck.
While some of these involve more time commitment than others, some are easily done within a few seconds to minutes. Making AND taking the time to implement a few into your daily routine will allow your body to reset and hopefully allow your nervous system to start healing and regulating.
So with all of the above in mind, this year how about we set some resolutions to help our bodies heal on a nervous system level instead of just physical or work. My wish for all of you parents is to have a regulated nervous system so that when issues arise, you're able to deal with them and become regulated more easily instead of staying in that fight or flight response. I say this because you're always told to regulate yourself before helping your child(ren), and to be honest, I didn't know how to do that, and I'm going to wager a fair few of you also don't know how to do that.
Here's to a new year, a more balanced nervous system, and open minds to learning how to consciously choose regulation for ourselves and for our children!
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