My Book: Strength, Love & Legacy will be coming out in 2024. Its a collection of all the things a mom should say to a daughter, and is like writing more love letters to my own girls but without embarrassing them.
When I was sitting with my manuscript there was some good blog info in there that I wanted to share here. Raising daughters is like raising someone who will always be your best friend; but first, you have to get through it ALL. I can see the other side, I just wish life would slow down in this last phase so I can cherish it a little bit more. If you are reading this and in the first seasons of parenting. Can you do me a favour and just sit with your child and just look at them? Take in their little hands, their features and memorize them. Life is precious, the days are long but the years are short. I'm sitting here, looking at my daughters and I can see the memories floating past them. They are 5'9; they are my babies but they are young women now. They have their lives ahead of them, but I miss them, and have found sneaky ways of spending time with them. I love hearing about their day, I love hearing them speak about things they love or the classes they take at school. I just want to be in mom mode for a little while more.
I recently crossed the threshold into uncharted territory after many years of calm and easy. We have entered into having not one but two teenaged daughters, with freedom and a moped scooter, a boyfriend, and a job. I felt like I was out of my body trying to balance newly found independence and letting my baby drive alone and letting go of fear and control; the boyfriend isn't a surprise- My daughter is brilliant, beautiful, a black belt in taekwondo, who has been fiercely independent, she knows who she is and she is who I would have wanted to look up to, growing up. The job wasn't unexpected and we knew it was coming, but for her, it just all happened at once. One day I was the center of their world, home after school, great talks and looked forward to my time with her; the next she gets home late, eats and heads to her room for the night. It got very real, this chapter my girlfriends had warned me about was now here and happening to me.
A month after she got her moped we had our first wipe out from driving on a wet road. She called me from inside the garage to come out and help her with her bike; she didn't have a scrape on her and just suffered a sprained wrist. The lesson of letting go is a hard one but a mom's heart isn't designed to deal with accidents. I will be thankful that she was helped by by-standards, no vehicles were involved and she shaken but okay. My mind said its easier to learn to fall now, she will get back up and learn that lesson so it won't happen again; and that she is a great driver and will be a better driver because she will have driven independently for year when that day comes to get her driver's license. Baby steps.
I don't know the rules of this new season yet, I'm struggling with getting my feet under me. I called my girlfriends for what I call the coaching call. What are the rules, expectations, how do their kids balance school, sports, job and boyfriends /girlfriends, driving? What do I need to know to support her? To which they all responded the same - She is a fabulous girl and you are her mom. You've got this.
We had friends calling my husband to make sure he was okay, and I am pleased to announce the boyfriend and the husband not only survived their first meeting but he thinks he's great. They could both relax after being super stressed about meeting each other.
My advice as you enter this stage is to be a GREAT listener. Talk to your kids openly and without secrets. Discuss what you are comfortable with and set rules in place. This stage of parenting is the precursor to young adults and modeling behavior and expectations will set the stage for success!
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